Chrisforliberty's Blog

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My Journey

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“Listen carefully. An upcoming important message may be subtle.”

I did receive this important subtle message recently and it was that Satan is now changing tactics. One of the most enjoyable things I’ve done is animal rescues/transports. It was on my most recent transport that I learned of this. Satan’s attempts at taking out me out in a frontal assault have failed. Now Satan will attempt to outflank me.

If you wanted to use the analogy of tank warfare, for the past twelve years, I’ve been like a Tiger I tank (don’t get distracted by the fact it was used by the Germans; just focus on my point), I’ve been in a defensive position with superior armor, and a stronger gun, but I haven’t used it yet. The shells from the Shermans just kept bouncing off. I would be rattled many times, but my tank has held up. By now, I could use a new tank and after being in a defensive positions for nearly twelve years (accepted Christ March 2000), I’m wanting to take the offensive. Satan knows this and thus explains the flanking manuever. I’m also on a timetable to receive a new tank that will be used to take the offensive. But just as now that a new tank is being brought to the front lines, Satan changes tactics. If I were to receive this tank, it would be a moral booster. Satan even tried a last-ditch effort with a heavy duty machine gun just a few days ago and yet it still failed to destroy me. Yes, rattled me some, but I still held. I will explain the significance of this move soon.

Having gone through Sanctification and now embracing my role as a liberator and teacher, Satan knows I’m a threat to his future plans. This is why I suffer. But I do not complain because I do this for God’s glory and I will be protected. Even in physical death, I will reap the benefits of salvation and claim a spot as a descendant of a king. Thankfully I no longer see the political system as a means for positive change. I don’t put my faith in people and their ways. Only in God. That being said, we should liberate ourselves from the system altogether and live by faith. ‘The one who is righteous will live by faith.’

So what has been going on? Basically in the past ten years, I’ve gone through a lay-off from Scripps Networks and my grand plan to become a great movie producer never took off. I work this job and that job and could never imagine myself doing it for the rest of my life. I even asked God what I should do and received no answer. I also had the desire to play baseball, football and other sports, but I was never going to be big enough, fast enough, talented enough to make it. I wasn’t even good enough to make the starting lineup on any team. My identity was saked in things I was never going to have. I felt cheated as I get to watch Dwight Gooden, Peyton Manning or even Alfred Hitchcock enjoy the fruits of their labor.

Over this past year or two, Satan knows that I have had strong desires for a girlfriend/wife. I have said or written as much. Satan also knows that I feel that I haven’t lived my life to the fullest. I was and to an extent still am an introverted, shy type. I was very shy around girls in high school due to have self-doubts regarding my hearing loss, speech impediment and being too small (5’6″, 130 pounds). I had the impression girls/women were interested in taller boys who were accomplished, had cars and money. I am now 5’9″, 170 pounds and better at socializing, but my resume would come across as unspectacular. It would look nice, but nothing that causes me to stand out. I am also misunderstood still in part because of my physical shortcomings, but also because I have a very different viewpoint of the world now. 

I began opening up in college and felt that I was going to go places especially after majoring in Video Production Technology at Pellissippi State Community College. But while I was getting better at socializing, most of my conversations were technical i.e. SMPTE color bars, calibrating editing equipment, or what not. My time at Pellissippi State were some of the happiest times of my life. But I also have fond memories of being a child. Nothing beats MTV, Saturday morning cartoons, and the Dukes of Hazzard. I also enjoyed Charlie’s Angels, Black Sheep Squadron and a number of other TV shows from that era. I have enjoyed old movies since childhood (but viewing was limited to an occassional VHS rental) and first became interested in Alfred Hithcock movies at around 16. I worked in the library for two years, checking out A/V equipment to be delivered to teachers, handled the live camera feed during morning newscasts, and even wrote a play based on Amos and Andy for a church luncheon for poor parents and their children. I will never forget seeing the girl who made a mess of herself with beanie-weenies and laughing at the play on stage. I was having dreams of being the next movie director or producer. After all, set your sights high and you can be anything you want to be. But nowadays, I realize the American Dream is false gospel.

During my childhood and early adult years, Central Baptist Church of Fountain City was my home church. Then beginning at 23, West Park Baptist was my home.  Something interesting happened after committing my life to Christ on March 18, 2000. I realized I wasn’t saved simply by being a member of a church or knowing a few storiesI was a political activist working for candidates like Michael Badnarik. I was truly devoted. But after the 2004 election, I was burned out and losing faith in people. I even laid in bed for a month only to get up to eat. Over the next five years or so, I worked a few other jobs and withdrew from politics. I barely spent any time on the 2008 campaign for that matter although I supported Ron Paul. This time around, I anticipate not spending any time on electioneering. I still support Ron Paul’s ideas on liberty. But liberty is much bigger than one man. It is a gift from God. It is just that we humans haven’t been good stewards of what God has given us. Thankfully I no longer see the political system as a means for positive change. I don’t put my faith in people and their ways. Only in God. That being said, we should liberate ourselves from the system altogether and live by faith.

I’ve always been a Baptist in name. But just in the past 10 years, I’ve truly immersed myself in its history and traditions. One of my favorite pieces of literature on Baptist history is the text of a speech given by Walter Shurden in 1996. I thought it was interesting that he used to teach at Carson-Newman. How ironic that I enrolled as a transfer student 2 1/2 years ago, using my video production skills to benefit the football team, have changed majors from Physical Education to Business and now to Religion. I’m seeking a career change to coaching, but now that focus has changed. My career change has now moved to an emphasis on ministry with athletics simply being the vehicle that will be used to pick people up. I’m starting to come to terms with and realize what God in His mysterious way has been molding me for. My journey while like a ship encountering storms at sea and monsters, I am in sight of land. But I will not disembark now. I will travel up and down the coast. Eventually I will step on land. But God will make the decision as to what path I take. I might start coaching at a high school. I might become a college coach. I may become an NFL scout at some point. But I will not get ahead of myself too much and rely too much on my own understanding. I have let go. God has been guiding me all along, I’m starting realize what is happening and have embraced it. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.” Proverbs 3:5-6 

Next, I will write soon on my vulnerabilities, how Satan intends to exploit them and what defensive strategies I will use until my new tank arrives. I will be taking the offensive very soon 🙂

Written by chrisforliberty

November 28, 2011 at 2:32 pm

Posted in General

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