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Archive for December 2013

The Staging of Porn: Its Unrealistic Premise and Distortions

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“The love scenes I did years ago were sensitive and romantic, but in today’s (filmed) lovemaking, couples are trying to swallow each other’s tonsils.” Lillian Gish

I’ve seen my share of porn over the past twenty years and and quite frankly, I think it is uninteresting minus a few scenes. Unrealistic and totally staged. Girl on girl porn is done to fulfill most straight guys fantasy. Oddly enough, the biggest increase in gay porn has been married women. They too have a fantasy about seeing their boyfriends/husbands engage in sexual activity with another guy or a threesome. But that is the movie/TV production guy talking. I am keenly aware of what goes on behind the scenes that the average viewer doesn’t. For the very same reason, I can’t stand “reality” TV shows too.Image

Erotica has always been a form of entertainment and pleasure. It is just that technology over the past 40 years or so has added several layers of complexity. Sex used to be a very private matter. Most scenes in x-rated stuff is not what most average people would do during the course of sex. But given that there is so much misinformation out there, people are seeking answers and getting it from bad sources. I don’t blame men for being confused as to what they should do or what women may want. But the sex is taboo stigma hinders any real frank discussion about the issue.

Access to pornography (which is defined as being more explicit sexual acts) usually meant watching at an adult theatre (such as Deep Throat and Behind The Green Door) or walking into an adult bookstore to pick up a VHS tape of your favorite actress.  Today—in addition to bookstores, topless clubs, magazines—it’s available on the internet, with vast amounts of content available at no charge such as RedTube. The pornography industry profits have increased from around 10 billion a year in the late 1990’s to around 100+ billion today mostly due to internet growth.  The desire for sexual content has no limits.  For example, it is no surprise that straight men fantasize about a threesome with two women and gay men watch gay porn. But here is something interesting: the biggest increase in gay porn in the past ten years (percentage-wise) has been married women and we could presume they are mostly straight. Why do men get condemned for having lesbian fantasies, but for women to view gay porn, it is innocent fun? Thus, we have a double standard. But hey, women have been dealing with this for a long time. Besides, gay porn is just as fake as straight porn.

Due to a lack of comfort on the part of parents, misinformation from the mass media and the overall lack of honest discussion about normal human sexual behavior, many teenagers and young adults don’t have a solid understanding of sexual relationships. The majority of pornographic movies don’t even show the face of a man, just his privates with the camera centered on the woman’s “enjoyment” of oral sex.

The thing to keep in mind that when it comes to pornography, 99% of the scenarios are not realistic.  Looking at it from a behind the scenes perspective, here is what happens: you basically have the actors on a set, a natural location or what not. There are crew members numbering usually around 10-20 doing their jobs which involves basically the same aspects of regular motion picture/television production such as set design, hair and makeup, camera operation, etc… The fakery of overacted orgasms, ripped abs, and silicone breast implants, along with the fact that you have a crew of anywhere from 10-20 people on the set — and from that simple fact, the act is obvious. These are people getting paid to perform a job just like anyone else getting paid to perform a job.

The average scene lasts around 10 minutes after it is in the can and edited.  The actual production time usually takes a few hours.  You would get the impression that a porn actor’s erection is about as long as the scene. Actually they are no different than the average man whose erection is usually no more than five minutes at a time. So how does he do it? Basically, when he achieves an erection after being given instructions by he director, the camera is already rolling.  He does his best to hold it and appear to be enjoying it while the actress or actresses do their thing. But should he not rise to the occasion on cue or take longer than desired to get hard, this can be aggravating.  Male porn stars usually last for a few movies.  Only a handful have a long career and what we basically end up with now is 60 year old Ron Jeremy and a 19 year old woman or Randy West having a threesome with women whose combined age is less than his.  But hey if your desire is to make a career out of it, you are welcome to try.

Pornography thrives partially due to people’s desire for Exhibitionism and Voyeurism. Instead assumptions are made based on what has been viewed and what’s shown as “normal” in popular culture.  Endless movies/TV shows and music brag about sexual activities. Men want to be like Ron Jeremy and women want to be any number of countless female porn stars.  Americans keep up with Kim Kardashian  and MTV needlessly replays Miley Cyrus twerking and grinding on Robin Thicke and symbolically stating, “I’m not a Disney Girl anymore! I’m empowered!”  Women are gold diggers and men are useful pawns.

Men end up believing that all women enjoy giving oral sex, like rough intercourse, enjoy being hit, and achieve orgasm without the slightest bit of foreplay, emotional connection, and/or intellectual investment. He’s doing what he was taught women like… so of course she’s going to like it; why wouldn’t she? (To be clear, there are many people who enjoy sex this way. This observation isn’t about them. It’s about the countless others who don’t enjoy sex like this, and don’t say anything, thinking they can’t or shouldn’t because this is “the way it’s done”.) One former porn star, Rebecca Lord commented on her website a few years ago that she had decided to give up doing porn in the United States because she was repulsed by the level of violence in more recent productions.

Here are some distortions from the porn industry:

Women are ALWAYS wanting to have sex. Porn is flawed right from the start. Just rush in, get your clothes off , get it on and rush out.  The average scene is around 10-15 minutes.  There is no or very little dialogue and horrible at that.  It’s going to take a little more than that to get a woman to relax enough to forget about the grind of daily life like work,  the kids, boring chores, etc…

The woman does all the work. In reality, it is the man who should be working to please her.  That would be kissing, massaging, hugging, not receiving a blowjob right off the bat. Like she had been sitting at home all day waiting to perform that act.

Foreplay is not necessary. No need for all that pesky foreplay — kissing is overrated, sensuality is pointless, creating any kind of a mood is just a waste of time. Just give it to me now! We live in a time of instant meals and everybody is in a rush.  Many women would be happier if he rushed home to feed the baby and clean the house instead of walking in expecting oral sex.  Porn leaves the impression that we should have ten minute sessions 5-6 days a week. A more realistic way is once a week or every other week and for it to last for anywhere from 30 minutes to several hours. In order to make this work, plenty of foreplay is necessary.  Think of it like piecing a movie together where the grand finale isn’t the first thing you see.

All women are naturally attracted to other women. the Big Bang of sexual fantasy for straight men: The threesome. Generally if she’s into it, that could be fine. But you won’t find most women hanging out a with a friend, waiting around all day just to perform it while dressed up like a Catholic schoolgirl, teacher, secretary while they bang the poolboy.  But like I mentioned, many women are also attracted to gay porn because they have the same fantasy. So all is fair is fair.

These examples highlight the massive disconnect between what most women say they really want from men, and what men have been led to believe women want.

Porn may be good entertainment (maybe).  But great sex requires a more intimate relationship between the people involved. Foreplay is the best way to get it started and that only works if the people have a very good relationship to begin with.  So in a nutshell, you would be better off not watching porn.  People have been having sex for thousands of years and they did just fine. It has actually been in recent decades that this has become an issue.

March1983

Written by chrisforliberty

December 22, 2013 at 1:01 am

Posted in Media